Sorry I asked…

Scenes from last night:

All these years later, I still haven’t been able to figure out why the most basic question a server can ask is always the most difficult for people to answer. It’s not like it’s a trick question. You’re asked it every single time you go out for a meal. And then you have people like this:

Me: Hi everyone, how are you? Can I start you with something to drink?

Woman (my age, maybe a little younger, and VERY excited): Hi, yes. Ohmygod, I am so excited to be here. We moved in across the street about a year and a half ago, and we’ve never made it over, even though all of our friends have told us to come, and now my parents are in town, and we’ve finally made it over here, I still can’t believe it’s taken us so long, and…

Me: Whoa there! (laughing, but also trying not to get caught, again, rolling my eyes, because I’m not even sure she’s taken a breath)

Woman: And I hear you guys have a really good wine list, and well the kids will have juice, and I like red, but my husband will probably have a beer, and…

Me: (I have to stop this, because honestly, she’s starting to give me a headache, and I’ve only been standing here for less than a minute) Okay, how about this. First of all, we don’t have any juice, just sodas and lemonade. Here is our beer and wine menu. Let me go grab you some waters while you settle in and look things over and I’ll be right back.

It didn’t work.


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