Scenes from last night:
I’m not sure I have the words to properly describe the events that occurred tonight, but I will do my best.
Part 1: I see this woman walking towards the restroom, holding her pint of beer, speaking very loudly while on speaker, wearing an outfit that looks like she stole it from either Pebbles, Betty, or Wilma. I can’t remember who wore the one shoulder leopard print, asymmetrical print dress.
Part 2: About 10 minutes later, she immerges from the bathroom, speaking in tongues, yelling into her phone. I’m standing back by the dessert station as she walks by us, and we honestly can’t tell if she’s drunk, high, or handicapped.
Part 3: I walk around to put an order into the kitchen and she is, I don’t know how to describe it, almost keening…wailing, crying, sobbing at the top of her lungs. Now she’s in her early to mid 30’s and her date is in his 70’s. He stands up and starts yelling he wants us to call the police on her. Customers are shocked and concerned. The man says, “I wouldn’t have asked her out if I knew she was crazy!” Her server went over to her and politely asked her to calm down, and now she switched back to laughing and having a great time.
Part 4: Their food arrived, but the man asked for the check and the girl was speed eating and getting food all over the table. The man stands up and asks for a bag for the boxes so the food doesn’t spill in his car. Then he says, rather loudly, “maybe we can put the bag over her head”, to which we all start laughing because the situation is so weird. Then he says, “put it over her head and tie it up nice and tight”, right in front of the girl. Now it’s getting awkward. I say, “Maybe you should have swiped left”.
Part 5: As they’re leaving, I noticed that one of them must have brought their own cocktail glass in, so I go to run in the parking lot. As soon as I open the door, the girl is literally peeing on the sidewalk. Peeing. On the sidewalk. PEEING. ON THE SIDEWALK! I just shut the door. I think I yelled, or something, maybe laughed, because now half the staff is watching her pee on the sidewalk through the window. Then she walks across the parking lot and proceeds to pee some more before she gets into the guys car and they leave.